Satirical News Service
In an effort to demonstrate to President Trump and Republicans in Congress that unemployed people value work as much as they do, millions of them have recently taken up the game of golf.
“We want to show our President and Congress that the $600 they provide us with for extended unemployment benefits will not lead us to think that we can just do nothing and get paid by the government. No, we want to show, that we can work just as hard as they do. “
I recently followed one unemployed airline worker around one of the golf courses near his home. Here is what he said to me, “You know I had no idea how hard this is – getting up at 11:00 every morning and heading out here to swing a club all day. Thank GOD for golf carts, or I might have to walk this thing. I’m still pretty bad at it, but it only shows me how motivated we all have to be to not just slack off and take money from hard-working taxpayers. I just can’t imagine how trump and all those Congresspeople do it every day. Sure, they probably make more than $600 in one second, but it’s not the amount that matters, but the principle of the thing. Work is work – whether you do it on the golf course, or slugging it out working 14-hour shifts in a hospital caring for all those Coronavirus patients – even if they are mostly just Crisis actors going on Ventilators just to make the president look bad.”
After our 3 martini lunch which we were able to deduct now, I have a new appreciation for the hard work it takes to get up and play golf day after day. Anyone who thinks that government money is just a hand-out should try it!