Satirical News Service
In another bizarre twist to the Wall Funding Saga, Donald Trump today tweeted that he would make good on his campaign statement to “shoot someone on 5th Avenue” if he does not get the 5 billion dollars in funding for his Border Wall. This alludes to a statement he made in 2016 that “ I could go out tomorrow and shoot someone in the middle of 5th Avenue and my base will still support me…”
Trump went on to tweet, "While I am sorry it has to come to this, Our Border Security needs must come first. If someone has to die for me to get it, hopefully, an illegal immigrant or Muslim, well, so be it. I have no doubt that my base will support me completely and send a message to Nancy Pelosi, Chuck Schumer, and Congress that I mean business!”
Mitch McConnell, stated in response to hearing of this tweet “Sometime supreme sacrifices are needed in the pursuit of Freedom….and while I certainly hope it does not come to this, the President knows what he is doing, and I support him.”
John Kelly, the out-going chief-of-staff, could not be found to comment. It is rumored that he is hiding out somewhere in western Virginia, speaking to lawyers about cutting a plea deal to avoid being implicated in a conspiracy to commit murder charges that might arise.