Satirical News Service
In a bold move today, the US Treasury announced that henceforth the US currency will be called “The Lie”. To Republicans in Congress, this comes as no surprise since their currency has always been The Lie. With the name change will come an entirely changed way that bank notes are printed and money is referred to.
“The great thing about the lie, is that it can mean whatever we want it to”, said one Congressman. When we say We have reached our goal of cutting spending by 90% it’s the ‘Lie’ that we are referring to. Likewise when we say ‘Raising taxes on the Middle Class will save them money’, it’s also the lie we are referring to. The great thing about the lie is that it really has no actual value tied to it. Basically, it’s ‘whatever we say it is’. Also, the term ‘dollar’ and ‘lie’ can be used interchangeably. For example, when we say the cost of living went down, we mean “the lie”, and when salaries went up, well sometimes it can mean the lie also. No one knows for sure and that’s what makes the lie so great. People can really stretch these lies to raise their standard of living, cut taxes, whatever…. Bank notes will be printed like stamps with no actual value printed on them – Just 'FOREVER'."
Congress still has to ratify this, but after passing the “Tax Reform Bill”, one Senator said, they’ll certainly swallow “The Lie”.