Satirical News Service
Scientists at the CDC have expressed growing alarm at the rapid spread of the DtRump virus. This is the same type of virus that ravaged Europe in the 1930s and 1940s and killed millions of people until it was contained. Now a new variant of it seems to have cropped up in the US and has infected millions of people nationwide. The highest number of cases have cropped up in the Midwest and Southern states typically known for its Republican political views. No one is quite sure how it jumped species to become this new more lethal Dtrump strain. It is believed to have been initially transmitted from contact with feces spread by certain FOXes. These FOXes can pack a lot of virus in their feces and have a wide range so containing them has proved nearly impossible. Not long ago a trial vaccine was used called the SchiffN1 to prevent the spread. Unfortunately, it weakened whatever immunity those subjects had to the virus, and all but one ended up with the most virulent strain. Military Veterans also seem especially susceptible to become infected with the virus since their strong patriotic fervor seems to weaken their immune system to this kind of virus. Once infected, it’s victims can show signs of memory loss, dementia, and believing impossible lies that non-infected people would simply scoff-off. In its most virulent form, it can lead people to shouting matches, severe aggression, habitual lying, and name-calling much like Tourette’s syndrome victims. CDC is hoping that by inoculating uninfected people with a new vaccine called All1Blu it might stop the spread of this before it becomes another worldwide pandemic.