Green Jackets and Woods

Green Jackets and Woods
With Profound Apologies to the late Dr. Seuss

You are Tiger, Woods you are
It’s a shame about that thing with your car
Would you wear a Green Jacket and Play?
Would you play this very day?

I would not wear a Green Jacket and Play
I would not play on any day
I would not play on your green grass
I would not play, so up your ass!

Would you wear a green jacket and play?
Would you play next Saturday?

I would not play next Saturday
I would not wear that green jacket and hat
I would not play with that Nike Swoosh
So stick this ball right up your toosh!

Would you wear a green jacket and play
Just think about what your public would say!

I would not wear a green jacket and play
The hell with my public, there’s just no way!

Would you bring your green jacket and ball?
Or is this just another stall?

I would not bring my green jacket and ball
My lawyer says I could lose it all
So keep your green jacket and all your dough
I’m trying out for a reality show!



Original Satire from
Steven Friedman