If George Washington Acted like Donald Trump

If George Washington acted like Donald Trump, here is how I would imagine the cherry tree episode would play……

GWF: Georgie! Come here this instant!

GW: Whaaaat! (Sounding belligerently)

GWF: My favorite cherry tree has been cut down! Do you know who might have done such a loathsome act?

GW: First let me say, that’s an awful tree, ugly tree – really bad dude! Never produced fruit! Make a yuge mess everywhere - Yuge! Leeches off other plants! Terrible tree– shouldn’t even be in the garden! The idea that I might have had anything to do with the so-called chopping down is ridiculous! Its FAKE news perpetrated by my enemies to discredit me!

GWF: Georgie, several of my servants said they saw you run out of the house with a hatchet cursing!

GW: Those are illegal aliens who are saying these things about me simply to discredit me and as a ruse to stay in this country; really bad dudes, most of them rapists and drug dealers. Believe me, when I grow up, I’m going to make Virginia a great colony again by building a wall by keeping these people out – or maybe in!

GWF: So who DO you think cut down my cherry tree?

GW: I know for a FACT that it was the little Rodham girl Hillary – bad girl – really bad! I say lock her up in her room for the rest of her life!