Satirical News Service
Washington DC
In an effort to demonstrate to President Trump and Republicans in Congress that unemployed people value work as much as they do, millions of them have recently taken up the game of golf.
“We want to show our President and Congress that the $600 they provide us
with for extended unemployment benefits will not lead us to think that we can
just do nothing and get paid by the government. No, we want to show, that we can
work just as hard as they do. “
I recently followed one unemployed airline worker around one of the golf courses near his home. Here is what he said to me, “You
know I had no idea how hard this is – getting up at 11:00 every morning and
heading out here to swing a club all day. Thank GOD for golf carts, or I might
have to walk this thing. I’m still
pretty bad at it, but it only shows me how motivated we all have to be to not
just slack off and take money from hard-working taxpayers. I just can’t imagine
how trump and all those Congresspeople do it every day. Sure, they probably
make more than $600 in one second, but it’s not the amount that matters, but
the principle of the thing. Work is work – whether you do it on the golf
course, or slugging it out working 14-hour shifts in a hospital caring for all
those Coronavirus patients – even if they are mostly just Crisis actors going
on Ventilators just to make the president look bad.”
After our 3 martini lunch which we were able to
deduct now, I have a new appreciation for the hard work it takes to get up and
play golf day after day. Anyone who thinks that government money is just a
hand-out should try it!
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