Trump to Launch Chain of Trump Branded Gas Stations

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

In an effort to shore up his “base”, Trump has announced plans to open his own “branded” gas stations exclusively in Red states across the country.

“We will be selling gas from all the oil we took from Venezuela, and soon from Iran, at a low, low price. In fact, they are the lowest of any President since Regan. I’m doing this because only I can keep gas prices down by making deals and standing strong against Iran and Venezuela. Gas prices there will be below $2.00 a gallon for Regular, and slightly more for Premium.

There is a catch, though. In order to get that low price, you have to be a member of the Trump Gas Club”. The cost of joining this club is $500 per year for a single membership, $1500 per year for a family.

Sleeping Trump Roundly Boo’d at Nicks Playoff game

 

Satirical News Service
New York, NY

A very unpopular President Trump, who insisted on attending last night's Knicks Playoff game, was roundly booed by a huge crowd for nearly 5 full minutes. Many fans also made rude hand gestures, and one fan, who was unfortunate enough to be seated behind the President, indicated his reaction to a certain odor emanating from the President. President Trump, however, never reacted to all this since he immediately fell asleep and remained in that state throughout the entire game.

The following day, when News Services and Social Media showed scenes of Trump being booed by both the players and fans, he immediately signed an Executive Order banning all professional basketball from being played in New York City.