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Saturday, January 18, 2025

Trump Inauguration Turns Tragic as People Asphyxiated by Trump Fragrances

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

 In what was supposed to be a triumphant day for Donald Trump turned tragic when every person in the small room where the swearing-in took place was asphyxiated by a strange combination of lethal compounds that formed what investigators say was a lethal gas not unlike Sarin.

Six months ago Trump Enterprises under the direction of Donald Trump came out with a series of “colognes”  to drive in their failing revenues. At $99 a pop it attracted little interest except in the media. So Trump planned to use it as a promotion to require everyone in his inner circle to literally bathe in the stuff. Those who had tried it claimed it smelled like cabbage farts. No one had foreseen that when the swearing-in ceremony was moved indoors in a small space, the combination of ingredients combined in the air to form a toxic gas. Before anyone could react, people were falling in spasms not unlike those produced by Sarin gas. Tragically the entire Trump family as well as those of the Vice President and House Speaker were affected. 

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