This year political campaigns are all turning ugly – even the ones for of all things the County Coroner!
Here is an example of one of the negative political ads I’ve seen for this position.
My Opponent is a left handed Liberal who wants to literally drain the life blood out of the average tax payer!
He supports Death Panels!
He is up to his elbows in slime in the inner recesses of his less up-standing clients!
I on the other hand, want to pump new vitriol into the hearts of the average citizen!
I am willing to make the deep cuts necessary to see the job done right!
I want to expose the corrupt inner workings and am willing to probe into the deepest darkest places to get to the truth!
I stand for right leaning values and won’t mess around in the dirty recesses that my opponent says are just part of his job!
Vote for me for County Coroner.
Paid for by the US Chamber of Commerce and the Tea Party Express!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Friday, September 10, 2010
Pastor Vows to Barbecue Meat on Friday and Pork on 9/11!
Satirical News Service
Loseville, FL
In another Media Circus, today, self proclaimed pastor Jerry Tones announced that on Friday September 10th, he was going to barbecue a steak and on 9/11, he was going to barbecue pork ribs!
Jerry Tones who is pastor of the Church of the God-Loving-and-Liberal-Hating and-Any-Foreigner-Americans, announced that he was going to perform this public cooking demonstration to the national media in an effort to “Piss off all those Vegans and Muslims who don’t eat meat or pork”. He said is grilling the meat on Friday was in an effort to specifically piss off all the Catholics who still adhere to meatless Fridays.
Outrage and Pleas have come in from around the world for him to stop, stating that it could jeopardize American lives. Calls from the Pope, the Indian and Pakistani Prime Ministers, PETA, the AMA, Numerous Muslim Imams, and Whole Foods Executives have failed to persuade him against pursing this divisive and dangerous course.
Pastor Tones, who received his ordination via the Internet, and whose congregation consists of his two toddler nephews, has stood steadfast in his determination to perform this act stating “God has instructed me to do this to show he hates foreigners and liberals and especially Vegetarians!”
After two days of very tense negotiations and a personal plea from Sarah Palin who offered to send him a Moose to grill instead, he finally relented. So on Saturday September 11th, Pastor Tones will be cooking Moose burgers instead of pork and beef, slowly seared over a bed of coals made up of Korans and Torahs.
Original Satire from
Steven Friedman
Loseville, FL
In another Media Circus, today, self proclaimed pastor Jerry Tones announced that on Friday September 10th, he was going to barbecue a steak and on 9/11, he was going to barbecue pork ribs!
Jerry Tones who is pastor of the Church of the God-Loving-and-Liberal-Hating and-Any-Foreigner-Americans, announced that he was going to perform this public cooking demonstration to the national media in an effort to “Piss off all those Vegans and Muslims who don’t eat meat or pork”. He said is grilling the meat on Friday was in an effort to specifically piss off all the Catholics who still adhere to meatless Fridays.
Outrage and Pleas have come in from around the world for him to stop, stating that it could jeopardize American lives. Calls from the Pope, the Indian and Pakistani Prime Ministers, PETA, the AMA, Numerous Muslim Imams, and Whole Foods Executives have failed to persuade him against pursing this divisive and dangerous course.
Pastor Tones, who received his ordination via the Internet, and whose congregation consists of his two toddler nephews, has stood steadfast in his determination to perform this act stating “God has instructed me to do this to show he hates foreigners and liberals and especially Vegetarians!”
After two days of very tense negotiations and a personal plea from Sarah Palin who offered to send him a Moose to grill instead, he finally relented. So on Saturday September 11th, Pastor Tones will be cooking Moose burgers instead of pork and beef, slowly seared over a bed of coals made up of Korans and Torahs.
Original Satire from
Steven Friedman
Monday, July 5, 2010
Sarah Palin Revealed to be A Russian Spy
Secret FBI photos of Sarah Palin sending secret messages to Russia
Satirical News Service
Wasilla, Alaska
Wasilla, Alaska
FBI today arrested Sarah Palin and her Husband Todd as part of a large espionage ring of Russian sleeper agents that had been planted in the United States presumably for years under the cover of ordinary citizens, but were secretly funneling information to Russia. According to the FBI there was darn good reason that she could see Russia from her porch. Secret photos now reveal that she used semaphore flags to send secret information to Russia. This certainly explains a lot about her involvement in the Tea Part movement. To think we came all too close to having a Russian spy as VP.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
BP Officials Announce Containment Of Money Outflow Due To Leaking Oil Well
Satirical News service
New Orleans, LA
Today officials at BP announced that they are finally making progress on containing the outflow of money in the form of payouts and compensations caused by the leaking oil well in the Gulf.
“We’re using a form of containment dome that gradually reduces the flow of money coming out of the escrow fund and BP’s profits. While some money inevitably will flow out in the form of compensation for lost income to fisherman, resort owners, and wildlife rescuers, we’ve manage to cut this flow to nearly a third.”
Officials at BP went on to state that final containment of the flow of money out of the company isn’t expected to happen until November when a relief hose can be placed into upcoming congressional campaign coffers. Once this happens, the plan is to pump a large amount of heavy mud in the congressional elections to eventually seal any chances that BP will actually have to pay for the full extent of the damages caused by the leaking oil well.
New Orleans, LA
Today officials at BP announced that they are finally making progress on containing the outflow of money in the form of payouts and compensations caused by the leaking oil well in the Gulf.
“We’re using a form of containment dome that gradually reduces the flow of money coming out of the escrow fund and BP’s profits. While some money inevitably will flow out in the form of compensation for lost income to fisherman, resort owners, and wildlife rescuers, we’ve manage to cut this flow to nearly a third.”
Officials at BP went on to state that final containment of the flow of money out of the company isn’t expected to happen until November when a relief hose can be placed into upcoming congressional campaign coffers. Once this happens, the plan is to pump a large amount of heavy mud in the congressional elections to eventually seal any chances that BP will actually have to pay for the full extent of the damages caused by the leaking oil well.
Friday, June 11, 2010
Obama Works on His Angry Response to the Gulf Oil Spill (satire)
Aide: Mr. President, the polls are really hammering us for not showing enough anger over this Gulf Oil Spill thing. Even Sarah Palin, as muddled as she is, at least comes off showing righteous indignation . We’ve assembled some film and TV clips for you to watch to and maybe use them to show the public how angry you are.
Okay here’s the first clip. It’s of Ralph Cramdon from the Honeymooners
Cramdon: (eyes flaring): "I tell ya Alice one of these days – To the Moon!”
Aide: You could say “I tell ya Tony – one of these days – To the Moon!”
Obama: Wouldn’t the public think I’m going to send Tony Hayward on a Space mission?
Aide: I see your point Mr. President. Lets try this one from the Incredible Hulk
Hulk: "You won’t like me when I’m angry! " (gets huge and green and starts tearing up the lab).
Aide: We think the environmentalist might go for the green look, and we could get the makeup guys to sort of bulk you up. Try the dialog
Obama: (in moderate level voice): You, uh, probably won’t, uh, like me, uh, when I get upset.
Aide: OK, how about this one from Taxi
“You talking to me Hayward, you must be talking to me cause I don’t see nobody else here!" (gets out Magnum 45’s and starts blasting).
Obama: I’m not sure I could do the Mohawk hair thing, and the anti-gun folk’s wouldn’t like the blasting with the Magnum’s thing.
Aide: Okay, here’s one we adapted from The Soprano’s.
"Get in the car Tony, it’s time youse and me takes a little ride. Our boys are pretty upset about what youse done to the Gulf, so we wants youse to go down there and fix it youse-self. Would you mind putting your feet into this tub of cement."
Obama: Youse and Me??
Okay here’s the first clip. It’s of Ralph Cramdon from the Honeymooners
Cramdon: (eyes flaring): "I tell ya Alice one of these days – To the Moon!”
Aide: You could say “I tell ya Tony – one of these days – To the Moon!”
Obama: Wouldn’t the public think I’m going to send Tony Hayward on a Space mission?
Aide: I see your point Mr. President. Lets try this one from the Incredible Hulk
Hulk: "You won’t like me when I’m angry! " (gets huge and green and starts tearing up the lab).
Aide: We think the environmentalist might go for the green look, and we could get the makeup guys to sort of bulk you up. Try the dialog
Obama: (in moderate level voice): You, uh, probably won’t, uh, like me, uh, when I get upset.
Aide: OK, how about this one from Taxi
“You talking to me Hayward, you must be talking to me cause I don’t see nobody else here!" (gets out Magnum 45’s and starts blasting).
Obama: I’m not sure I could do the Mohawk hair thing, and the anti-gun folk’s wouldn’t like the blasting with the Magnum’s thing.
Aide: Okay, here’s one we adapted from The Soprano’s.
"Get in the car Tony, it’s time youse and me takes a little ride. Our boys are pretty upset about what youse done to the Gulf, so we wants youse to go down there and fix it youse-self. Would you mind putting your feet into this tub of cement."
Obama: Youse and Me??
Abbott and Costello Visit Arlington National Cemetery
Costello: OK Abbott, there are three grave sites here – Hu is buried in the first grave, NoWan is buried in the second, and Idunno is buried in the third.
Abbott: Then Who is buried in the second?
Costello: No Hu is buried in the first
Abbott: So who is buried in the third?
Castello: Idunno
Well you get the rest……
Abbott: Then Who is buried in the second?
Costello: No Hu is buried in the first
Abbott: So who is buried in the third?
Castello: Idunno
Well you get the rest……
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
Cable TV to Host 24 Hour BP Oil Leak Show
Satirical News Service
New Orleans, LA
With America's growing fascination with the BP Oil Spill. Cable TV networks have picked up on the idea of launching a 24 hour feed of the Oil Spill. Viewers in a Test Audience commented, "It's a lot like watching a lava lamp - you get in rhythm with the swaying column of leaking oil. It's very relaxing". Viewers will be able to tune in 24 hours a day to watch the live feed. Revenue will be generated from moving banner ads that will be displayed at intervals along the bottom of the screen. Viewers will also be able to switch views from the underwater leak to an aerial shot of the the patterns of oil on the surface as it moves across the coastline. Amid concerns that the show might be sort lived if BP manages to contain the spill, a TV executive said "Fat chance of that happening anytime soon."
New Orleans, LA
With America's growing fascination with the BP Oil Spill. Cable TV networks have picked up on the idea of launching a 24 hour feed of the Oil Spill. Viewers in a Test Audience commented, "It's a lot like watching a lava lamp - you get in rhythm with the swaying column of leaking oil. It's very relaxing". Viewers will be able to tune in 24 hours a day to watch the live feed. Revenue will be generated from moving banner ads that will be displayed at intervals along the bottom of the screen. Viewers will also be able to switch views from the underwater leak to an aerial shot of the the patterns of oil on the surface as it moves across the coastline. Amid concerns that the show might be sort lived if BP manages to contain the spill, a TV executive said "Fat chance of that happening anytime soon."
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