New Discovery of Extinct Branch of Prehistoric Humans

Satiricial News Service

Scientists this week have made the discovery of an early branch of human evolution that mysteriously went extinct. From fossils they hypothesized that they had very small brains and lived exclusively on an herb that resembles modern day "tea". Scientists believe this may have made them very angry and irrational. They are classifying this new species as Homo-Insurrectus.

Along with the discovery they discovered cave drawings from this extinct human race. Anthropologists have suggested that based on the drawings, they worshiped the symbol of a coiled snake. The figure in the middle right drawing is hypothesized to represent a witch doctor or chief who brings healthcare to the tribe. The circle with the slash indicates that they did not like this chief or healthcare. The lower most drawing shows how they lured a woolly mammoth to jump off a cliff by first jumping off it themselves. The last drawing suggests why they probably went extinct.

Satan Summoned in House of Representatives to Persuade Hold-out Democrats on Healthcare Reform Vote

Satirical news service
Washington DC

In a last ditch effort to persuade hold-out democrats and Joe Liberman, Nancy Pelosi personally summoned Satan to persuade them to vote for the Health Care Reform bill.

Millions of Republicans Keel over Dead to Protest Health Care Reform Passage

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

As soon as the final vote count was completed in the US House of Representatives, millions of Republicans simply keeled over dead as soon as passage of the bill was assured rather than face government sponsored health care reform. Mitch McConnell – who remained alive long enough to give this interview – stated “See, we told you this would happen”. The scene of millions of Tea Baggers bodies lining capitol mall could be seen on FOX TV. Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck could not be reached for comment.



Original Satire from
Steven Friedman

The CRAZIES - New take on the Movie Poster

Former VP Dick Cheney is First American to Appear Before Health Care “Death Panels”

Sartirical News
Washington D.C.

Following recent hospitalization for heart problems, former VP Cheney received mandatory counseling for end of life issues where it was determined that his condition was tragically hopeless. Following this meeting, a heavily sedated Cheney was wheeled out of the hospital in a gurney to a nearby airport where a private jet was awaiting his arrival. Hospital public relations officials stated he was being taken to an undisclosed hospice location where he will be allowed to meet his inevitable death out of the eyes of the prying public. Officials assured us they are do everything in their power to ease his pain with very high doses of narcotics that would ordinarily be considered harmful or even fatal if the prognosis were not so grim to begin with.

US Olympic Team Athlete Subjected to Socialized Medicine at Vancouver Olympics

Satirical News Service
Vancouver, Canada

After a minor fall on ice, one un-named US Olympic athlete suffered a serious laceration to his hand. The terrified athlete, fully cognizant of the horrors of socialized medicine in Canada from the reports he’d heard from FOX News, was dragged kicking and screaming to the city’s state of the art hospital. There he endured an excruciating 10 minute wait to undergo suturing the laceration by highly trained emergency room doctors. He could only pray that the death panels of government bureaucrats that roamed the ER, would miss him. Later he would thank his luck that he lived in the USA where his private health insurance could deny his claim without the intervention of BIG GOVERNMENT for seeking medical treatment at a facility not in his provider network and without prior approval!

The Mad Tea Party circa 2010

The Mad Tea Party
Palin, Beck and Limbaugh