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Saturday, November 7, 2020

Latest Letter to Donald Trump from Kim Jong Un

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

Dearest Donald,
I am writing you once again to implore you to come and live with me here in Pyongyang. The American people do not deserve as just and great a leader as yourself. We are so much alike! You say you can grab all the pussy you like because you are famous. Me too! You say you can stand on Fifth Avenue and shoot someone and still the people would love you. I have shot thousands of people – right in the capital, and the people still love me! You want to have Hunter Biden put in jail. I would execute him and all of his family and friends! They mock you because of your small hands and weird hairdo, but no one mocks me because I am small all over, and have a weird hairdo.  Think of the walls we could build together. Think of the fun we could have together threatening the world with nuclear destruction, or hacking into everyone’s private files. We are two peas in a pod as you Westerners say. You could build a Trump towers right here in Pyongyang right next to mine, and put both of our names on it (mine bigger though). Please, Please say you will.

Most lovingly, your exalted leader Dear Leader, who is a perfect incarnation of the appearance that a leader should have.


Kim Jong Un.  

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