Satirical News Service
Washington DC
High ranking
officials for the Trump reelection campaign are alarmed that the nation’s
strategic supply of lies has become depleted to their lowest level in years. As
one unnamed official stated, “Even in a normal election year, we’d expect
supplies of lies to become low, but this year combined with the Pandemic, we
are running through our remaining stockpiles of lies faster than anyone could
have predicted. On some days we are telling as many as 60 to 70 lies per day. At
some campaign stops we are even forced to re-use the same lies over
and over again putting people at risk for getting caught in their own web-of-lies. Because President Trump is using such a high volume of these lies, down
ballot candidates must find new ones to tell the public on their own often
resulting in some real whoppers that no one buys, and they are getting laughed
at or booed. “
Secretly the Trump campaign has had to resort to
purchasing lies manufactured in other countries such as Russia, China, and even
our arch-foe Iran just to meet daily rally needs. Political scientists warned
us long ago not to rely too heavily on lies to sway the American public. They
warned early on that constantly telling lies over and over again could produce
the “Boy Who Cried Wolf Syndrome” where people rapidly become totally immune to
lies and disregard anything coming out of a candidate's mouth. Attack ads that
rely exclusively on people believing chopped up clips from things people said
years ago and taken completely out of context are no longer arousing people’s
anger. Claims of “Ushering in Socialism” and “Raising taxes on the middle class”
still appear to have some effect, but without new and more potent lies, Trump’s
poll numbers are fading fast. He had
hoped for an October surprise with Hunter Biden’s laptop hard drives, but their
efficacy is still in doubt, and time is running out for them to gain traction
before a surge of final votes is cast.
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