Satirical News Service
Washington DC
In a historic ceremony on the White House lawn
today, President Trump sat for the signing of a historic peace accord between
Israel and the Island of Tonga. In his statement to the Press Trump said,
“No one even heard of Tonga until I discovered them
and got them to sign this history-changing peace accord with Israel. It totally
changes the dynamics of the Middle East. Nobody thought we could do this, but I
did it. Stockholm – I hope you are listening….N-O-B-L-E peace prize this year
for you know who."
Despite the fact that Tonga is located in the
middle of the Pacific Ocean and thousands of miles from the Middle East and did not even know Israel existed, Trump still
claimed that this will open the way to further peace negotiations of foreign
leaders and Israel. At the ceremony the
Tonganese King offered Netanyahu a ceremonial conch shell. In exchange
Netanyahu offered to have the Tonganese King circumcised to make him an
honorary Jew.
It was reported that negotiations had taken months
to complete since no one had a phone number for the Tonganese King, or even knew
where Tonga was located. It was also reported that Trump offered to sell Tonga one
of the US’s top of the line fighter jets as part of the
deal, but it was discovered that Tonga had no runway large enough to accommodate
it. Instead, he was given a signed copy of The Art of the Deal.
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