Satirical News Service
Washington DC
With the fall of Afghanistan now nearly complete, Republicans are trying to rally their party around
a new military cause to deflect Trumps’s involvement in causing the Afghan collapse and
Taliban victory.
“It’s important that we find a new war soon so we
can have an excuse to call for boosting military spending and have lots of rallies and parades
to show we support our troops”, said Lindsay Graham. “We are looking closely at
Greenland as the site of our next military involvement. The fact that it has no
army or even a sizable population makes it an ideal advisory. Also, we can paint
it as the base of the ‘notorious terrorist group Global Warming which has recently
attacked the US with forest fires, flooding, and heatwaves. We tried before to negotiate
with the Danish government to surrender the territory to us, but they stubbornly
refused. Now it’s time to take it ourselves. It’s time to Go Nuuk and liberate
Greenland!”
No comments:
Post a Comment