Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
In one of his first moves as President, Donald
Trump has agreed to sell three of the most prized National Parks to Elon Musk,
thus relinquishing any federal control over them. The three parks are Yosemite,
Yellowstone, and The Grand Canyon. Although the sale will need Senate approval, it is expected to be easily passed along the
new Party lines. In his statement about what he intends to do with the parks,
Elon Musk said that admission will now be strictly limited to 1000 people a
day. Their entrance will only be selected by lottery of which includes a
mandatory signing of a petition demanding that Elon Musk be able to decide to do
whatever he wants with National Parks. While Native Americans still own parts
of The Grand Canyon, access in and out of those areas will be strictly limited
to resident inhabitants only. As for other plans, Musk hinted he’d love to see the glory
days of Buffalo hunting brought back to Yellowstone National Park.
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