CNN viewers disappointed with lack of Shock and Awe in Tripoli Air Raid

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Viewers of CNN expecting a repeat of “Shock and Awe” as coined by Rumsfeld in the start of the bombing of Bagdad, got just “Bored and Bemused” with the first air raid on Tripoli. As one viewer put it, "I’ve seen backyard fireworks displays better than that – what, a few scenes of tracers and a lot of scenes of dark night sky. You’d think with all that oil money Gaddaffi could put up a few more fireworks than that for CNN."

Charlie Sheen and Muamar Gaddaffi to Do New Reality Show – Swapping Psychosis

Satrical News Service
Los Angeles, CA

Left with a big hole in their prime time slot after firing Charlie Sheen from Two-and-half Men after his bizarre antics, CBS today announced a deal today that makes “Lemonade from Nutcakes”. This new reality TV show called Swapping Psychosis, features two famously psychotic people swapping each other’s roles. To start off the season, CBS signed a contract with Muammar Gaddaffi who agreed swap places in LA with Charlie Sheen, while Charlie Sheen would try to run what’s left of Libya. Al Jazerra has agreed to pick up the mid-east syndication rights to sweeten the deal.

Terrorists Using H20 From The Sky in latest Xmas plot

Satirical News Service
Washington,DC

Frozen H20 – a chemical compound - has paralyzed much of the UK , Europe and the Eastern United States Seaboard, while simultaneously unfrozen H20 is literally raining down in vast quantities on the Western Coast of the United States.
According to Homeland Security head, Janet Napolitano, these simultaneous attacks have all the hallmarks of an Al Quaeda terrorist plot. We still don’t know yet how the terrorists were able to obtain this chemical substance, H20, but we are investigating every possibility. The fact that they were able to deliver it over large parts of Europe and the US simultaneously from the air paralyzing travel and commerce is a particularly ominous development. In response to this latest threat, the Dept of Homeland Security is going to ban all water from airplanes and airports starting next week. Drinking fountains and toilets in airports and airplanes will be permanently closed as well as all in flight beverage services.

And the Stupid Electoral Initiative Award goes to ….. OK Oklahoma!

In an election year when stupidity runs second only to fear, Oklahoma voters will have a chance to set a new high water mark for stupidity and fear. It was reported today in the LA Times that Oklahoma has on its ballot an initiative that would make a constitutional amendment to ban Islamic Sharia law. Never mind the fact that there are only 15,000 Muslims in the entire state and there has never been a single case of Sharia law being applied or even argued. But just in case, Oklahoma wants to be prepared just in case some Muslim has the audacity to turn down a McRib sandwhich.
According to one spokesperson for the group responsible for getting this initiative on the ballot. “We see this as a good start. After this amendment passes we plan to put initiatives on the ballot to outlaw other laws that we disagree with. These include Talmudic law, Darwin’s Law of Natural Selection, Newton’s Second Law of Thermodynamics, The Law of Gravity, and all re-run’s of Law and Order.”

New DaVinci Painting Discovered - The Last Breakfast

In a week of startling new art finds, yet another lost masterpiece was recently discovered, this one, hanging in the basement of the Sistine Chapel. This painting pre-dates DaVinci's last supper and is thought to be the original inspiration for it. It is titled "The Last Breakfast".

Women Supreme Court Justices Line up for New Term Photo

Retired Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, Justice Sonia Sotomayor, Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg and the latest O'Bama appointee,Justice Elena Kagan (far right) shown in their own justice robes in this photo prior to Justice Kagan's Investiture, Friday, Oct. 1, 2010, at the court in Washington.