Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Yesterday
President Biden and President Putin spoke to each other in a possibly last
attempt to avoid conflict. Listening in on the call were the NBC Olympic skating commentators
who judged the call. Here is what the commentators had to say
C1: I think
Biden started out very strong in his opening. He performed the triple threat
perfectly but was a little awkward landing the "NATO is all united together" piece.
C2: Putin’s performance was just a little bit staid, but still
a very strong showing. As you know he still holds the top ranking from his
previous engagement with Ukraine, and totally crushed his performances with
previous President Trump. All the same his aggressive opening moves went a
little sloppy when he overplayed his own triple threat.
C3: I agree, when Putin went against the French
President he was a lot stronger, and soft-peddled his threat to Ukraine in much smoother performance.
C1: Overall how do you think Biden held up for the
end of the call. I sensed he was a lot more tired than after his first call. He
just could not seem to land his ultimatum well, and the judges marked his score
down. Putin on the other hand kept up his performance totally unperturbed by
Biden’s NATO moves.
C2: Well we’ll just have to see how they perform in
their final round which could come any time now. A slip or fall in either
contender’s performance could hand the gold medal into the other contender’s
hands.
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