Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
You know the
story. You’ve just finished three hours of Pickleball with your friends – you’re just craving for a juicy burger and fries. Then one your wife’s Vegan friends suggest
going to the local salad bar for eats. Your dreams of that juicy burger fade away.
The only thing like meat there are those “soy bacon bit salad toppings”. But
now, thanks to the latest innovations in food science. Green-Away has come out
with “The Impossible Salad®”. It looks like your typical green salad, and even
crunches like it. But it is made entirely of meat and meat-byproducts and tastes
amazingly like hamburger.
“We’ve taken real meat and refined it and colored
it so that it looks like the ingredients of your typical garden salad, but
contains no vegetable matter what-so-ever. I like to call it ‘the food for the
rest of us’.”
Green-Away expects that their “Impossible Salad®”
will soon be available at salad bars nationwide.
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