Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
With Trump and his Republican allies rigorously
defending his “Quid-Pro-Quo” with Ukraine, the Trump Organization has decided
to go all out to show just how normal and wide-spread quid-pro-quo is. To push the point, The Trump Grill is implementing
a quid-pro-quo policy (though not publically admitting it). It goes something
like this.
Customer: Waiter, we have very important guests
here that need to be on a plane this evening to return back to their country.
Can you please talk to the kitchen staff to make sure they get our orders out
promptly.
Waiter: Very good sir!
1 hour later……
Customer (hailing his waiter): Waiter, we’ve been waiting here for over an hour,
and no one has brought us our food. My customers need to be on a plane later
and they’ll miss their flight if it isn’t here soon!
Rudy Giuliani (comes to the table): I hope you are enjoying your service here
tonight. You know Mr. Trump goes out of his way to provide the best service.
Customer (angrily): I’ve told the waiter twice that
it is critical that we get our meals soon since my clients have a flight to
catch this evening. It’s been more than one and a half hours and we are still waiting!
Rudy: Well there is a little problem. Our kitchen
staff doesn’t like the fact that the wait staff often takes their tips. So they
are asking you to do them a little favor and leave them a tip “up-front” so-to-speak, just so that they are assured of getting their rightly share. Say, about
25%. Oh, and there will also be the usual 25% percent service charge tacked
onto the bill as well.
Customer: That’s EXTORTION!
Rudy: Not in the LEAST! It quid-pro-quo, and there
is nothing wrong with it at all. It’s done all the time in restaurants all over
the world – especially in the countries that your clients come from. By doing this
we are sending a message to their country to stop this practice. Please leave
cash on the table – no credit cards are accepted for this extra transaction. Your
food will then be out shortly. Enjoy your meal!
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