Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
To
demonstrate that he was totally unaffected by the Impeachment hearings on
Capitol Hill today, President Trump help a press conference with a Turkey. It
was supposed to be a press conference with the President of Turkey, but he left
early to watch the televised Impeachment hearings. Among the important issues
raised today was Turkey’s outrage over the annual genocide of Turkeys in November.
Trump supported the Turkey’s claim that it was a
lie that the Pilgrims ate Turkey which they shared with the native Indians. In
his statement, Trump said, “Many people have told me that the Pilgrims never
even heard of Turkey or that the Indians shared their food. In fact, the
Indians were very bad people – many of them were drug addicts, rapists, and
murderers. But the Pilgrims reached out to them and invited to a wonderful dinner
of Handergers. I am therefore signing an executive order making handergers the
national dish for Thanksgiving, and to give thanks for my being totally
exonerated by the Senate in these sham Impeachment proceedings."
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