Satirical News Service
Washington DC
The
nationwide shortage of baby formula that has swept this country has now been
linked to the closure of one of the three factories that make baby formula here
in the USA due to high levels of CRT that were contaminating large
batches. The entire production had to be recalled and production stopped. CRT or Critical Race Theory has recently been appearing in Children’s storybooks,
school curriculums, and even Math textbooks. Florida’s governor, Ron DeSantis
has even gone so far as to ban the teaching of Math until new CRT-free
textbooks can be produced. The factory that produced the contaminated baby
formula suspects that the production line might have gotten contaminated when
some Antifa leaning employee brought in a copy of “WOKE BABY” to share with her
co-workers. The contamination spread into the product line and the whole
factory had to be shut down for purging. The “so-called shortage” is also linked
to retailers who are intentionally hoarding stockpiles of it in anticipation of
an explosion in the US birthrates after the Supreme Court overturns Roe vs.
Wade, and states begin passing and enforcing draconian anti-abortion laws. The
billions of abortions that happen almost daily in those states will be reduced
to a trickle, and all those babies will be born en-mass. Demand for Baby formula
will skyrocket and we’ll profit mightily. THANK YOU, SCOTUS!
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