Satirical News Service
Wall Street, NY
Wall Street, NY
In a move that caught a skeptical Wall Street by surprise,
Jack – sometimes called "Simpleton Jack” has become a billionaire in a deal to
sell Elsie the Cow – mascot of Borden, to
an unsuspecting buyer for a handful of beans. It turned out that those “magic
beans” were a genetic hybrid of soybeans that would increase yields by 10 fold
and require far less water and produce huge plants. The sale of these beans
also came with all patent rights. Detractors on Wall Street initially called
Jack a total simpleton for selling a valuable cow for worthless beans. No one is
laughing now. Elsie the cow that has long been a symbol of Borden, the Texas-based
dairy has just filed for bankruptcy due to lagging sales primarily because
of soy-based drinks.
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