Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
After three horrific
shootings in less than three weeks. Senate leader Mitch McConnell today put his
foot down and said: “Enough is Enough”.
Noting that one of the shootings was at the Gilroy Garlic Festival, he
noted that there was a clear link between the shooters and their hatred of
garlic. “Hispanics are known to love food that is heavily seasoned with this
stuff. It is clear that there is something in it that attracts patriotic 2nd
Amendment- rights -advocating Americans to performing these unfortunate acts.
My party is putting forward the
strongest legislation to completely ban the sale and cultivation of this
substance in order to prevent such acts from happening again. I certainly
praise the great people in Gilroy, Dayton, and El Paso – and also want to
praise the police for their quick action. Our thoughts are prayers as always
are with THEM. “
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