Putin Fires Trump; Says He’s Very Disappointed With His Disloyalty

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

In a startling shake up at the Kremlin, Putin today fired Donald Trump saying he was extremely disappointed with Trump for not showing the kind of loyalty he expected. This comes just days after Trump signed the bill authorizing sanctions against Russia.

 In a statement Putin said “After all I did to get him elected, you’d think he’d show a lot more loyalty. As of today, he’s out! You know people around me who are disloyal to me don’t usually last very long. I’ll now be looking for a new U.S. President and expect a lot more loyalty from him.”

Trump Orders New Addition To Vietnam War Memorial

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

Donald Trump signed an executive order today ordering the National Parks Service to add an addition to the Vietnam War Memorial in Washington DC to honor those who would have fought (and won the war BIGLY) had they not been prevented from going by crippling "bone spurs" in their feet. So far only one person fits this memorial.

Trump signs Executive order repealing ALL healthcare.

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Donald Trump today just tweeted that he is repealing by executive order ALL healthcare in the United States until Congress passes his repeal of Obamacare. In his tweet he indicated that he has ordered all pharmacies, hospitals and clinics closed until Congress acts on repealing Obamacare.

Brain Scan Reveals Strange Malignant Tumor in John McCain

Brain scan of John McCain revealing odd shaped tumor

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

Doctors at Bethesda Naval Hospital today revealed that John McCain has a large malignant brain tumor. It is suspected that it has been growing there since last summer and might account for his recent bizarre speeches and support of policies that went totally against his previous positions.