FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Natural Disasters and Global Warming - Fueling American Jobs

The deeper you dig, the more good things you learn about Natural Disasters and Global Warming – An industry that supports 9.2 million American Jobs,

and 20% new jobs were created by Natural Disasters alone since 2010.

From the Fire Fighters on the Forest Fire Lines… to the Rescue and relief Workers…to the Insurance Claims Adjustors, Natural Disasters and Global Warming are today fueling all kinds of jobs.

So the next time you are desperately sand bagging a levy, digging out from the rubble of what was once your home, or running to get underground from the funnel of a tornado, thinks of all the good that means above ground.

Log on to learn more.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

TSA Will Now Ban All Forms Of Pornography On Airplanes

Satricial News Service
Washington DC

Amid the new revelation that Osama Bin Laden had boatloads of pornography in his lair, HSA was quick to announce that starting tomorrow, all forms of pornography will be banned from airplanes. In making the determination as to what constitutes pornography, the TSA has announced it will err on the conservative side in this regard. Henceforth any magazines that display more than three inches of skin below the navel, and more than 3 inches of bust line will not be allowed. Also any display of pubic hair will be banned. Passengers wishing to take magazines on board planes will be required to take them out of their luggage and place them in 1 gallon plastic bags. TSA inspectors will then fan through the magazines to determine if they contain any pornographic content. In a statement issued by Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano she stated, “While this may significantly slow down security screening at airports, we want to make clear to the American people that we are taking every possible measure to ensure that another 9/11 attack does not occur.”
In other news the Republican led House Committee on Intelligence plans to meet in special session over the next 4 weeks to view the pornographic material seized from Osama Bin Laden so they can get a better understanding of the sick twisted minds of Terrorists. Beer and refreshments will be provided.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Bin Laden Raid Nets Donald Trump’s Secret Birth Document –He’s Bin Laden’s Half Brother

Satricial News Service
Washington DC

Among the astonishing finds netted from Sunday night’s raid on Bin Laden’s hideout was a document that appears to be the true birth certificate and secret adoption papers for Donald Trump. It reveals that Donald Trump’s true birthplace was actually in Saudi Arabia, and that he was born to a Muslim mother. More astonishing was the fact that his true birth mother was Hamida al-Attas, one of the wives of Mohammed bin Awad bin Laden and mother to Osama Bin Laden. That makes Donald Trump Osama Bin Laden’s half brother. After Donald was born in 1948, he was secretly adopted by Fred and Mary Trump and brought to this country to be raised. It is not known if Donald was ever made aware of this, but there was a cryptic note on the birth document that was found in the hideout. It said.

“To my half brother Donald- Good luck with the new Trump Twin Towers in New York – I think we cleared the way for you.
Inshallah - Osama.”

Donald Trump was unavailable for comment.

Monday, May 2, 2011

Bin Laden Killed – Donald Trump Demands to See His Birth Certificate!

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

Following the revelation last night that Osama Bin Laden had been killed, Donald Trump weighed in to show he is still a heavy weight for 2012 Presidential Election. In a press conference, shortly after the President’s, Donald Trump demanded to see Bin Laden’s birth certificate. He stated, “There is some evidence that Bin Laden was not in fact born in Saudi Arabia as he said he was, but was in fact born in Kenya and is not a Muslim! I want to see his birth certificate to prove that he was the terrorist he said he was.”