Satiricial News Service
Scientists this week have made the discovery of an early branch of human evolution that mysteriously went extinct. From fossils they hypothesized that they had very small brains and lived exclusively on an herb that resembles modern day "tea". Scientists believe this may have made them very angry and irrational. They are classifying this new species as Homo-Insurrectus.
Along with the discovery they discovered cave drawings from this extinct human race. Anthropologists have suggested that based on the drawings, they worshiped the symbol of a coiled snake. The figure in the middle right drawing is hypothesized to represent a witch doctor or chief who brings healthcare to the tribe. The circle with the slash indicates that they did not like this chief or healthcare. The lower most drawing shows how they lured a woolly mammoth to jump off a cliff by first jumping off it themselves. The last drawing suggests why they probably went extinct.