Satirical News Service
A man, armed only with a hammer, held up a suburban Maryland bank yesterday making off with about $7,000. The teller involved didn't quite know what to make of the heist, but handed over the money anyway. No one was injured in the robbery, and the suspect was later apprehended. The NRA’s reaction to this robbery was one of ecstasy! “See! We TOLD you so!” The NRA has long proclaimed that “if criminals could not get guns they’d use a hammer instead”. As it was, the suspect in question could not purchase a handgun because he failed the background check. The NRA immediately called for Federal legislation on all hammers, and demanded background checks on all individuals prior to their purchase.