FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Friday, December 30, 2016

Putin Sends Trump Device “Ask Alexi” as Inauguration Gift

Ask Alexi Device
Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Putin disclosed today that he has sent Donald Trump an Inauguration gift modeled after the Amazon Echo device. It’s called “Ask Alexi”.  Not only will it provide answers to important questions that it is asked but it loves to play guessing games. Trump promised to place it right on his desk, just as Putin suggested.
He demonstrated how it works.

Alexi: Dasvednanya Mr. Trump. Would you like to play guessing game?

Trump: Yes

Alexi: OK, I am guessing that the code to launch your nuclear missiles is 5678

Trump: No Alexi, that’s wrong it’s really ZXAB45678MX3456

Alexi: Oh My, You win

Alexi” I am guessing your password for your private email is Donald@topsecretnet.com

Trump: You’re right!

Alexi: Thanks for playing Donald. We should do this more often.  

Thursday, December 22, 2016

Steve Bannon Appointed by Trump to head Smithsonian Institution

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

Donald Trump announced today that Steve Bannon will be appointed to head the prestigious Smithsonian Institution, which also includes the Natural History Museum, Native American Museum and Black History Museum. In accepting the appointment, Bannon stated “For too long these museums focus has been on showing a Political Correct view of History, focusing on minorities, and insignificant achievements of Latinos and women, with very little portraying the great achievements of White Males, and only showing Liberal interpretations of Natural History. We plan to change that.”

Sources close to Bannon said that emphasis will be placed on showing the achievements of great entrepreneurs like Jamie Damon of JP Morgan, David Cole, Charles Keating, Angelo R. Mozilo former head of Countrywide Mortgages, Martin Shkreli, former Turing Pharmaceuticals CEO, and of course Donald Trump.

Other plans include refocusing the Black History museum to show how happy slaves were in the South under slavery, and showing the vital role the KKK played in protecting newly freed slaves from other radical Negroes, and Federal government agents who wanted to take away their jobs. A large exhibition is also planned demonstrating how Obama successfully forged his birth certificate.
The Natural History Museum will change its politically correct emphasis, and portray Creationism as a likely alternative to liberal scientists’ view of human history and climate change.

Many people have nicknamed these museums-to-be “Bannon’s Believe it Or Else Museum!”

Monday, December 19, 2016

Mount Rushmore to be Renovated for Trump's Inauguration

Satirical News Service
Mount Rushmore, South Dakota

Upon learning of President Elect's choice for heading the Interior Department, the National Parks Service announced that they were going ahead with some planned renovations to Mount Rushmore to coincide with Donald Trumps Inauguration. In preparation for these renovations, some oddly shaped wooden scaffolding has been erected. While not commenting on what they resemble or the statement it appears to make, the National Parks Director stated that he expects the scaffolding to remain there for at least 4 years.

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Pulitzer Prize for Fiction Awarded to Donald Trump

Satirical News Service
New York, NY

This year’s Pulitzer Prize for Fiction was been awarded to Donald Trump, officials announced today. “He is the complete embodiment of how far a man will go to crate fiction. Everything about the man is a complete work of fiction. He has managed to fulfill the prophecy of 1984’s newspeak with every utterance and tweet. His ability to create fiction from truth seemly at will is a remarkable achievement.”

In other news the Nobel committee has placed Donald Trump on the short list for recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize. According to one Nobel committee member, “Not since 911 has one man managed to unite the world in a single cause – namely the opposition to Donald Trump himself. Only Syria and the USSR have not expressed their complete denunciation of the man and his policies.”