Satirical News Service
New York, NY
In an effort to placate Paul Rand and his other critics in Congress and appear to add more transparency to the so called “Kill List”, President Obama has offered to host Drone Court on FOX TV. Drone Court will follow the usual TV court format, but the cases will be against suspected terrorists who are under consideration for being executed by armed unmanned Drone Predators. Since it is highly unlikely that the actual suspects themselves are going to show their face, or even hint as to their whereabouts, character actors will dress up and impersonate them for television and plead their case. In the unlikely event that they are acquitted, the suspect will be taken off the list and the character playing that suspect will get to act all emotional and prpaise Allah. If not the Judge will inform the real suspect that they are in our sights. The roles of TV prosecutors have not yet been selected, but it is hinted that Dick Cheney has been offered the role, or possibly Condoleezza Rice. It is rumored that former TV Judge Wapner will come out of retirement to take the Drone Court Judge role.