FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Fox News Reports Their Own Satellite Images May be Wreckage of Malaysia Airlines Flight 370

Satirical News Service
New York, New York

Sources at FOX news today revealed enhanced photos taken from their own satellite which contradict those released today by  the Australian GeoResonancece satellite, and claim that these definitively identify the wreckage of the Malaysian jetliner on the ocean floor. According to a spokesperson from FOX, these photos place the wreckage not in the Indian Ocean, as initially stated, but instead in the Pacific Ocean somewhere close to Los Angeles. The shape definitely shows the fuzzy outline of the body and wings of the jetliner.  Investigators are closely examining these photos to determine if they may indeed be the lost jetliner.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Deep Ocean Search for Flight MH370 uncovers huge pile of un-matched socks

Satirical News ServiceSydney, Australia

The search for missing Malaysia Airlines Flight MH370 under the Indian Ocean, now deemed to be the most expensive in aviation history, has failed to uncover any signs of the plane or black box. It has however uncovered a strange find. Scattered over several miles of the ocean floor appear to be millions of single un-matched socks. Authorities are completely mystified as to where they came from and how they got to such a remote place.

Friday, April 11, 2014

South Carolina Extends Gun Rights To The Unborn

Satirical News Service
Charleston, South Carolina

After passing a new Stand Your Ground Law to include protecting fetuses, South Carolina legislators have proposed a new law to extend gun ownership rights to the unborn. In a press statement one state legislator said “We call it the Stand Your Womb Law. We feel that the laws to protect the rights of the unborn just don’t work. It’s time that we give fetuses the right to defend themselves! “

Under this law a parent of a minor, boyfriend, or spouse of the mother could compel a doctor to surgically implant a small handgun into the uterus of the pregnant mother.” Should any Obamacare doctor or Planned parenthood witch try to come after this fetus, they are going to get a load of lead!”

The NRA is solidly behind this since it extends second Amendment rights to the unborn. It has also united anti-abortion groups and pro-gun groups who now claim that abortion is just another attempt to take away our guns. Maternity T-shirts are already appearing with the slogan “If they want to take away my gun, they’ll have to pry it out of my unformed hands!”

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Enjoy the Timeless Pleasure of Collecting Members of Congress.

Thanks to this exclusive offer from  MCCUTCHEON and the US Supreme Court you too can now enjoy the timeless beauty of owning your own member of Congress in your personal collection.

Each one of these handpicked Congressmen displays the exquisite detail only obtained with years of fine craftsmanship and lobbying. At Mccutcheon, we’ve preselected these select Congressman and women for you to enjoy and manipulate over and over again.

After your initial payment of only 3.8 million, we’ll send you your first junior congressman – yours to manipulate as ever you please. Then every month or so we’ll continue to send you select Congressmen from the US House of Representative all the way up to ranking members of the US Senate.  Imagine the hours of pleasure you’ll have making them do your beck-and-call - repealing  Obamacare, minimum wage, banking regulations, and more.

You’ll be in the company of life long collectors like William Randolph Hearst, Sheldon Aldelstein and others who for years have enjoyed this timeless hobby. And remember these can only increase in value as does your power over them. So don’t wait because this limited offer will not be around forever.

New evidence shows that Pilot of Missing Malaysia Flight Avid Fan of "Lost"

In a stunning revelation authorities have uncovered that the pilot of Malaysia Flight 370 was an avid view of the TV show LOST. Speculation now runs high that he may have been searching for that missing island when he went "missing".