FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Negative Political Ads for County Coroner

This year political campaigns are all turning ugly – even the ones for of all things the County Coroner!
Here is an example of one of the negative political ads I’ve seen for this position.

My Opponent is a left handed Liberal who wants to literally drain the life blood out of the average tax payer!
He supports Death Panels!
He is up to his elbows in slime in the inner recesses of his less up-standing clients!

I on the other hand, want to pump new vitriol into the hearts of the average citizen!
I am willing to make the deep cuts necessary to see the job done right!
I want to expose the corrupt inner workings and am willing to probe into the deepest darkest places to get to the truth!
I stand for right leaning values and won’t mess around in the dirty recesses that my opponent says are just part of his job!

Vote for me for County Coroner.
Paid for by the US Chamber of Commerce and the Tea Party Express!

Friday, September 10, 2010

Pastor Vows to Barbecue Meat on Friday and Pork on 9/11!

Satirical News Service
Loseville, FL

In another Media Circus, today, self proclaimed pastor Jerry Tones announced that on Friday September 10th, he was going to barbecue a steak and on 9/11, he was going to barbecue pork ribs!
Jerry Tones who is pastor of the Church of the God-Loving-and-Liberal-Hating and-Any-Foreigner-Americans, announced that he was going to perform this public cooking demonstration to the national media in an effort to “Piss off all those Vegans and Muslims who don’t eat meat or pork”. He said is grilling the meat on Friday was in an effort to specifically piss off all the Catholics who still adhere to meatless Fridays.
Outrage and Pleas have come in from around the world for him to stop, stating that it could jeopardize American lives. Calls from the Pope, the Indian and Pakistani Prime Ministers, PETA, the AMA, Numerous Muslim Imams, and Whole Foods Executives have failed to persuade him against pursing this divisive and dangerous course.
Pastor Tones, who received his ordination via the Internet, and whose congregation consists of his two toddler nephews, has stood steadfast in his determination to perform this act stating “God has instructed me to do this to show he hates foreigners and liberals and especially Vegetarians!”
After two days of very tense negotiations and a personal plea from Sarah Palin who offered to send him a Moose to grill instead, he finally relented. So on Saturday September 11th, Pastor Tones will be cooking Moose burgers instead of pork and beef, slowly seared over a bed of coals made up of Korans and Torahs.

Original Satire from
Steven Friedman