Disclaimer

FAKE NEWS (just sometimes we wish it weren't)

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

New Survivor Series – Overbooked Airplane

Satirical News Service
New York, NY


Executives at CBS have decided to take a page from recent events and create new episodes of the popular reality TV show Survivor to be set in an airport and “over-booked” airplane. First the contestants will be stranded at a gate terminal in some god forsaken airport with nothing around in the middle of a blizzard for several days. They will have to survive by finding whatever they can scavenge from Vending machines that will eat their change and deliver at random. Finally, they will be allowed to board the plane, but just as they are seated they will be told that “The flight is overbooked and they will need to randomly select passengers to deplane”. It is still unsure if the TV producers will then force other passengers to select who will be “taken off the plane”, or just make it a free for all to see who can stay in their seat while big burly mean looking security guards try to haul them off the plane. The last group standing will receive free airline tickets on United Airlines. 

Tuesday, April 11, 2017

S&M Airlines To Offer Elite Class Of Flying

Satirical News Service
Washington DC


S&M airlines, the airline that brought flying misery to a new low level, has just announced an elite class upgrade to give you the most humiliating flying experience possible. With this upgrade masochists will find their every flying fantasy fulfilled as they are forcibly dragged off the plane by dominatrix clad flight attendants amid the jeers and taunt of fellow passengers who will happily be posting videos of you begging and pleading as they drag you away. Right now this upgrade is offered only on selected flights, but as demand increases they hope to offer it on every flight.

United Airlines Announces Entry into Cruise Ship Market

Satirical News Service
Washington DC


The parent company of United Airlines just announced that it has entered the Cruise Ship market starting with low cost cruises to the Caribbean. They have already sold more than 5200 bookings for the maiden voyage on their 5000 passenger ship “Friendly Seas”.