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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Thursday, October 21, 2021

All New "Bond" Series Announced

Satricial News Service
London, England

With Daniel Craig now gone from the long-running 007 series, Eon Productions has just announced an entirely new "00" series that is currently in production in the USA. You will see many of the old favorites in their new roles.











Wednesday, October 20, 2021

Notes from a Vaccine Sommelier - Vaccine Pairing

 

Satricial News Service
Washington, DC

A year ago we got our first selection of COVID vaccines to sample and compare “tasting notes”. Now almost a year later the FDC is recommending boosters. Some sources suggested mixing and matching boosters with their initial ones. So in this article, we looked at the “tasting notes” from our first pairing of vaccines.

Pfizer with Moderna

In our first flight of sampling, we paired an early harvest Pfizer vaccine with a slightly later release of a Moderna. Our panelists all thought the two paired well together.“Mild stick in the arm with a slight burn; After effects were similar to the Pfizer but with a slightly prolong body chill but not overpowering.” Our panelists gave the antibody response a 9 out of 10 on the COVID protection scale.

Moderna with J&J

In our last installment, J&J had just been released but we did not have a chance to see how it would age over time. Now we were able to pair the early release 2021 J&J with a 7 month aged Moderna. Both were mildly sharp in the arms with the Modern producing slightly more burn than the J&J. After effects were as expected with The Moderna, but the J&J left a slightly sweet taste in our mouth a day after receiving it. The panelists gave the antibody response an 8.7 on the COVID  protection scale.

Pfizer with J&J

Here we paired an 8-month-old aged Pfizer vaccine with a later release J&J. As expected the Pfizer vaccine produced a more pronounced “ouch” compared to the J&J. The characteristic body ache was more pronounced with the Pfizer, but relatively little from the following J&J. Most panelists detected a “flinty” after-taste in their mouth after both injections. They gave it an 8.6 for antibody response on the COVID protection scale.

J&J with Late Release J&J

When we first sampled the J&J, it was very young and had no time to age. We now we're able to pair this early Nouveau vaccine with one that had been aged at refrigerator temperature for more than 6 months.  The panelists all concluded that this seemed to have a minimal effect but might suggest a longer aging period.

“Overall the jab was moderate with pain-reducing after about 12 hours. Body ache was minimal.”

They gave it an 8.2 overall for the antibody response on the COVID protection scale.