Trump Presents His Conclusive Evidence of Election Fraud in Georgia

 

Satirical News Service
Mar-a-Largo, FL

After nearly 41 indictments came raining down naming Trump and others in Election Fraud in Georgia, Trump countered with a special “News” conference on Monday showing conclusive evidence  clearing him of any wrongdoing. To back up his claim he presented what he claimed was irrefutable evidence which showed a very grainy and blurry photo of (what he claims) is Hunter Biden at a laptop computer that is sending signals to Italian Satellites in Earth orbit that are in communicating instructions to Dominion Voting machines in Georgia to change Trump votes to Biden.

“No one can refute this”, he claimed in his 'News' conference, "it’s there for all to see that Hunter Biden is responsible for the voter fraud – not me. The FBI needs to stop this witch hunt for me and focus on finding Hunter Biden’s laptop which will prove my innocence.”

Mattel Tries to Launch “Ronny” Doll But Fails to Gain Any Sales

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, D.C.

In an effort to gain some traction from the recent success of the movie Barbie, The DeSantis campaign commissioned the toy maker Mattel to release a limited edition “Ronny” doll in the likeness of Ron DeSantis. However, after a brief test marketing effort with very poor sales and likeability ratings, Mattel withdrew the doll from the market after comments from mothers and girls showed the product was doomed from its inception.

“It always looks like it's scowling”, reported one parent

“It doesn’t seem to have an occupation or purpose and just looks stupid” comment another

Observers reported that kids playing with the dolls repeatedly got into fights with other Barbie Dolls – especially the Barbie School Board doll and the Barbie Librarian doll. Other girls playing with Ken dolls, especially the Afro-American-Ken dolls disliked him as did the Gay Alan dolls. His only friend dolls were “Trailer Trash Tom”, and “Biggot Bubba”. Even they started to dislike him, preferring instead to be friends with the “Can’t-Touch-Me Trump” doll.

In the end, Mattel just decided to abandon the effort and delegate the remaining unsold dolls to a landfill site in Florida.