On Line Betting and Fantasy Sports Games Now Offering Fantasy Trump Cabinet

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

 With the election over, Trumpers are speculating on who he picks for cabinet posts (regardless of qualifications), online gaming sites have decided to offer a new game, Fantasy Trump Cabinet. This is an online fantasy game much like Fantasy Football where pundits pick who they think will be posted to Trump’s new cabinet and Supreme Court appointments. Fan Dual and Draft Kings will also offer bets on how long these individuals remain in their new positions before they are fired or resign. Market analysis has shown that this appeals more to Gen Z men than actually following political events or issues.

Elon Musk to Purchase National Parks

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

 In one of his first moves as President, Donald Trump has agreed to sell three of the most prized National Parks to Elon Musk, thus relinquishing any federal control over them. The three parks are Yosemite, Yellowstone, and The Grand Canyon. Although the sale will need Senate approval, it is expected to be easily passed along the new Party lines. In his statement about what he intends to do with the parks, Elon Musk said that admission will now be strictly limited to 1000 people a day. Their entrance will only be selected by lottery of which includes a mandatory signing of a petition demanding that Elon Musk be able to decide to do whatever he wants with National Parks. While Native Americans still own parts of The Grand Canyon, access in and out of those areas will be strictly limited to resident inhabitants only. As for other plans, Musk hinted he’d love to see the glory days of Buffalo hunting brought back to Yellowstone National Park.