New Discovery of Extinct Branch of Prehistoric Humans

Satiricial News Service

Scientists this week have made the discovery of an early branch of human evolution that mysteriously went extinct. From fossils they hypothesized that they had very small brains and lived exclusively on an herb that resembles modern day "tea". Scientists believe this may have made them very angry and irrational. They are classifying this new species as Homo-Insurrectus.

Along with the discovery they discovered cave drawings from this extinct human race. Anthropologists have suggested that based on the drawings, they worshiped the symbol of a coiled snake. The figure in the middle right drawing is hypothesized to represent a witch doctor or chief who brings healthcare to the tribe. The circle with the slash indicates that they did not like this chief or healthcare. The lower most drawing shows how they lured a woolly mammoth to jump off a cliff by first jumping off it themselves. The last drawing suggests why they probably went extinct.

Satan Summoned in House of Representatives to Persuade Hold-out Democrats on Healthcare Reform Vote

Satirical news service
Washington DC

In a last ditch effort to persuade hold-out democrats and Joe Liberman, Nancy Pelosi personally summoned Satan to persuade them to vote for the Health Care Reform bill.

Millions of Republicans Keel over Dead to Protest Health Care Reform Passage

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

As soon as the final vote count was completed in the US House of Representatives, millions of Republicans simply keeled over dead as soon as passage of the bill was assured rather than face government sponsored health care reform. Mitch McConnell – who remained alive long enough to give this interview – stated “See, we told you this would happen”. The scene of millions of Tea Baggers bodies lining capitol mall could be seen on FOX TV. Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck could not be reached for comment.



Original Satire from
Steven Friedman