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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Future Censuses to Use Color swatches to Classify Race

Satiricial News Service
Washington DC


Amid the uproar over which race box to check on the current Census Form, US government officials annouced today that they will use a different method to classify people's race. According to one un-named official, "We've been getting a lot of heat over which race box to check, You have people wanting to classify themselves as "Tanned Americans", "Tea-Party Americans", and then of course there are people like the late Michael Jackson who want to be classfied as "Transitional". To address this controversy, the Census Forms will no longer use words. Instead citizens are asked to match thier skin color as closely as possible to the swatches provided in the form. Hence forth, people in the US will no longer be classified by words, but rather by their swatch number. It is hoped by going to this method, the Census Bureau can be more accomidating to all American's.

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