Satricial News Service
Washington DC
Amid the new revelation that Osama Bin Laden had boatloads of pornography in his lair, HSA was quick to announce that starting tomorrow, all forms of pornography will be banned from airplanes. In making the determination as to what constitutes pornography, the TSA has announced it will err on the conservative side in this regard. Henceforth any magazines that display more than three inches of skin below the navel, and more than 3 inches of bust line will not be allowed. Also any display of pubic hair will be banned. Passengers wishing to take magazines on board planes will be required to take them out of their luggage and place them in 1 gallon plastic bags. TSA inspectors will then fan through the magazines to determine if they contain any pornographic content. In a statement issued by Homeland Security Director Janet Napolitano she stated, “While this may significantly slow down security screening at airports, we want to make clear to the American people that we are taking every possible measure to ensure that another 9/11 attack does not occur.”
In other news the Republican led House Committee on Intelligence plans to meet in special session over the next 4 weeks to view the pornographic material seized from Osama Bin Laden so they can get a better understanding of the sick twisted minds of Terrorists. Beer and refreshments will be provided.
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