Scientists Reveal That Some Foods Are Actually Grown in Dirt!

Unsafe Food Shown on Left grown in actual dirt compared to safe food on right manufactured under sterile conditions.

Satirical News Service
Washington D.C.

A recent scientific report commissioned by the Monsanto Corporation revealed for the first time that some foods are actually grown in Dirt! I’m sure you can remember your mother telling you to wash your hands after playing outside because they got dirt on them, or “Don’t eat food you dropped on the ground because it has dirt on it”. Well low and behold what we discovered is that some types of food are actually grown in the stuff! Can you imagine all the bacteria and viruses not to mention all those organic chemicals that are in dirt. You mother was quite right in warning you to stay well away from that stuff. Now we find that some farmers are actually growing food in it. Luckily there are still many foods that are manufactured in clean rooms in nearly sterile antiseptic conditions, and contain useful chemicals that will keep all that nasty bacteria from entering your system.  While some nay-sayers will dismiss this report and say “dirt is healthy”, or “It takes a lot of dirt to kill you”, just remember the admonishment your mother gave you when you were a baby “Stop eating that dirt!”