Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
In a show of
deep understanding and benevolent charity, President Trump today signed an
Executive Order that sets forth a 10 step pathway to enable Black people to become
White Americans. “It goes right to the root of the problem. If there are no
more Black people, there will no longer be any need for Police to take such
harsh measures while arresting them. They will have the opportunities that have
long been denied them while they were Black. They may even be allowed to rise to offices in
Republican administrations, just like that black boy we put in our cabinet – whatever-his-name-is", Trump later tweeted.
The precise steps that would be required to become
White were not yet laid out. These will be made clear right after Trump has
completed the deportation of all undocumented workers and Dreamers from Latin America.