Trump Pushes for Alternative Math to be Taught in Schools

 

Satirical News Service
Washington, DC

As Conservatives led by Trump propose altering public school curriculums in Science, Biology, Public Health, and now History, it seems only fitting that they do so with Mathematics. Here is a copy of an example of alternative teaching of Mathematics. 

        1. Which number is greater  250,000,000 or 538?

Ans: If you said the former you are probably a totally ignorant libtard. The answer is obvious to any good conservative that 538 is greater than 250,000,000 because the former  is the number of electoral votes and therefore greater when you factor in all fraudulent ballot stuffing and votes by illegal immigrants.

  I        2.  If you invest in a casino worth 860 million and in 4 years bring its value to less than 1/10 of this, how much profit or losses did you have in this deal.

Ans: Once you have cheated all the investors, and failed to pay the workers, and overvalued your tax losses, and defaulted on your initial loan your net Profit is 980 million.

3.         3. If a novel virus strain is detected  in 1 person on day one and then on day 4 is 24 cases and on day 8 at 1400 cases, how many cases will you have in 2 weeks time

Ans: Zero! The virus will simply vanish in 2 week’s time. No need to panic the people.

4.        4. If I test 10,000 people for a virus and 1200 people die from it, what is it’s R0, or its lethality?                

                 Ans: Zero. None of those people actually died if the virus. It was something else. The numbers of cases and deaths are all inflated by Democrats  just to discredit the duly elected President of the United States.

 

5.           5. If John Billionaire earns 600 million dollars in a year and Joe average makes 50,000 dollars in a year, who will pay more federal taxes for that year?

Ans: If you said John Billionaire, then you are a total loser! Taxes are for suckers. Joe Billionaire paid ZERO taxes and actually got more than 10 million dollars in tax breaks and credits while Joe Average paid $5600 and that is AFTER to “tax break for the middle class” he got after the last “tax-cutting bill” that the Republican Party passed.

 

6.      6. How many does 2+2 equal
         

       Ans: WHATEVER WE SAY IT DOES!!!  If you answered 4 then you are guilty of “Thought Crimes” and room 101 is waiting for you to convince you otherwise.