Trump to issue “stock” in his MAGA super PAC (satire)

 

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

 In a new twist to Trump’s populist saga, he says he is intending to issue “shares” in his MAGA super PAC that people can buy and sell just like ordinary shares of stock and will increase in value once he is reelected. Although he does not specify exactly how it will benefit them, it certainly implies favors. But since it skirts just inside of the line of outright promising anything it still falls within the legality.

 Noting the recent meteoric rise of stocks like GameStop and AMC, he hopes that very small day traders will drive up the shares to create a bubble of wealth to give the impression that Trump once again is back to his fantastic “Art of the Deal” that made him a “Billionaire”. Meanwhile, his super PAC will continue to rake in funds with very little hope of any return on their investment. But this is Trump’s true “genius”.

Hottest New Board Game – “Weave Your Own Conspiracy Theory”

 

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

 The makers of HASBEEN have just announced their latest new board game “Weave Your Own Conspiracy Theory”. In it, each player draws five cards with subjects such as Election, Fraudulent, Immigrants, Antifa, Democrats, stole, etc. There are also wild cards “I believe it” and “Fake News”. When it’s a player's turn must use at least two of them to create a conspiracy theory.  The other players must then throw down a wild card saying either “Fake News” (meaning they don’t buy it), or “I believe it”. For each “I believe it”, they get to advance one space on the board. The first one to get to “The Presidency” wins the game.  It’s fun for the whole family and gives children a strong foundation for a future career in politics or FOX news.

Forthcoming Book by Trump "If I Did It"

 

Satirical News Service
New York, NY

SNS has obtained a pre-release copy of what Trump claims is a "fictional account" of how he committed all of the things that "the Liberal Democrats accuse me of". Oddly enough, it seems that the confessions he makes in his book are all well actual documented things he has done and can still be prosecuted for. Among these are his deals with Russia, his call to the Ukrainian Prime Minister, his tax returns, his rape accusations, and his inciting his supporters to riot, and many more. So far a publisher has not been announced, but Biden DOJ is studying the manuscript very carefully.

Disney Attraction Closed When Animatronic Trump Goes Berserk

 

Satirical News Service
Orlando, FL

In yet another bizarre chapter of the Trump presidency, Disney officials today announced that they had to close the Hall of Presidents attraction in the EPCOT theme park because the animatronic Trump went completely out of control. It started accusing all the other Presidents of stealing the election from him and shouting that he really won in a landslide. He urged all the visitors to storm the  Magic Castle and force the Disney Park to declare him the winner in the 2020 election. The “Small Small World” attraction also went haywire when the animatronic dolls started shouting obscenities and demanding that the presidential election results be changed. Shocked parents and children were immediately escorted away and the attraction was closed indefinitely. It is strongly suspected that the recent Russian cyberattack may be at the heart of all this.

Trump Hires 1200 Children to Help Him Find Those "Missing Ballots for Trump"

 

Satirical News Service
Washington DC

As the days tick by before Biden is officially certified by Congress as the 46^th president, Trump is becoming increasingly desperate to overturn those results. After his recorded call to Brad Raffensperger, the Georgia secretary of state failed miserably, Trump has now enlisted the aid of more than 1200 children to scour the White House Lawn searching for those missing votes that he is sure that his traitorous deep state aides buried in an attempt to deny him his electoral victory.

“They are going to keep looking until we find them”, snorted Trump, “Even if it takes till Easter”.