Satirical News Service
Washington DC
With the
Cyber Ninjas coming up with squat in their 6 month effort to find fraudulent
ballots in Arizona, a new group has come forward wanting 10 million dollars in
donations to conclusively prove that Biden’s victory was fraudulent. This group
is the Patriotic Psychic Society of America; They believe that they have the
tools and expertise to conclusively prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that the
election was stolen from Donald Trump. Its leader who goes by the name of “All
Seeing Eye” said in an interview, “We have the necessary tools to get this job
done right. These are high-tech Ouija boards 10 times more sensitive than
standard ones, crystal balls, Taro cards, and séances conducted by expert mediums
who have been communicating with dead people who will swear affidavits that
they voted in the last election for Biden by absentee ballot. They will also
show that rogue deep state psychics from the Democratic party were seen in
trans-like states outside of polling places that had voting machines
manufactured by Dominion. It is well
known that some psychics have the power to bend spoons – how much harder would
it be to change electronic votes?”
This society claims that it has already been prophesized
that Trump will be reinstated in August. We intend to supply definitive
proof to make that happen.
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