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FAKE NEWS (just seems like it could be true)

Wednesday, September 8, 2021

Mob to open Their Own Abortion Clinic Franchise in Texas

 


Satirical News Service
Dallas, Texas

With Texas’s new abortion law soon going into effect, Planned Parenthood, the largest organization to provide abortions on demand has been pretty much shut down. This has left an opportunity for organized crime to fill the void it's left. In a statement given to SNS, the unnamed CEO explained their new venture. 


“We intend on opening new clinics throughout Texas under the brand name Foget-Abowt-It”. The name pretty much explains it all. We’ve been offering safe sanitary and very private abortions to people in our own network for more than 80 years. Now we have the opportunity to offer this same service to the general public. In addition, this service comes with some added benefits. You won’t have to wade through a phalanx of unruly protestors. We’ve pretty much-taken care of that. We also ensure your privacy. Anyone threatening to bring a civil suit against you or anyone else in accordance with the new Texas law will receive a personal visit from one of our baseball bat welding enforcers. If the woman can’t afford to pay, we also use our enforcers to collect from the guy who knocked them up as well. "

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