Nobel Prize in Physics Awarded to the Discoverer of the Smallest Known Phone Charge

Satirical News Service

Stockholm, Sweden

This year’s Nobel Prize in Physics was awarded to James Finkelstein who made the discovery this year of the smallest known phone charge.

For many years consumers of smart phones have suspected this charge existed, but could not be seen or proven until now. Even after careful examination of their phone bills the mass of the individual charges never seem to quite add up to the total bill. It was only after Finkelstein dissected every possible charge from nearly 10,000 cell phone bills that he found a tiny residual charge that he named swipeonium, or “swipe” for short. According to Finkelstein, “It belongs to a class of charges we’ve labeled Qwerks. They carry only a tiny mass compared to the other phone charges, but can accumulate over time in very small quantities. Their net effect is negligible to the individual consumer but it’s accumulation over thousands of users can carry a significantly larger mass. “

The source of the charge is still not completely understood, but it believed to arise every time a smart phone user swipes his finger across the screen of their smart phones.

Mr. Finskelstein was thrilled to hear that he had been chosen by the Nobel committee. He plans to use the more than one million dollars that the prize carries to pay off his mobile phone bill.