The Gingrich that Stole Xmas

by
Steven Friedman
(with apologies to Dr. Suess)

All the GOPs down in GOPville liked primaries a lot

Except for the Gingrich who did not

He hated the Primaries, the whole campaign season

And its not very hard to see the main reason

It could be his temper, or the women he's laid,

It could be his lobbying and deals that he made

But whatever the reason his dick or his schtick

The Presidential campaigning made him just sick

He stood on the platform in Iowa last week

And heard all the other candidates speak

Starring down from his podium, he glared at each one

Especially Mitt Romney whom he called a big bum

But he knew every GOP in Iowa just now

Was sizing him up, and to see if he'd WOW.

And he said I must stop those others from winning

but HOW?

I know what I'll do said the Gingrich with glee

I'll buy a lot of ads on prime time TV

I'll say lots of stuff that is stupid you'll see

And I'll show all those GOPS just how T-Party I can be

So he pounced on child labor and immigrants too

and gleamed how his values were red white and blue.

He denounced Obama for passing health care

And wanting to make taxes for everyone fair.

And the pundits were happy, he's the one we agree!

We'll I guess he's better than Cain or Perry

So in a wink of an eye big donations came thru

From un-named sources, and the Koch Brothers too!

And he looked down on GOPville this Xmas and grinned

How he, the Gingrich, had taken them all in.