Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Within hours of the surprise announcement of Kim Jong-il's death, presidential GOP hopeful Newt Gingrich made the announcement that he was dropping out of the US presidential race. He has decided instead to focus his efforts on becoming North Korea's next dictator for life.
In a hastily prepared news conference Gingrich stated, "While becoming president of the United States is an admirable goal, I feel that the title of omniscient dictator for life fits much more in line with my hot temper, lavish life style, and devious character. My ascendency to North Korean leader will be a much easier transition for the North Korean people than Kim-Jong Un. Also I'll be less of a threat to the American people with my finger on the North Korean nuclear trigger than I would be with my finger on the US one."
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