Colorado is First State to Allow Opting Out of Traffic Laws for Philosophical Reasons

Satirical News Service
Denver, CO

Colorado, the state that has the laxest gun laws and lowest rate of vaccinations in the nation, has now become the first state to allow individuals to opt out of traffic laws for what they feel are “philosophical reasons”. One group of individuals who pushed through this law stated “There is absolutely no hard evidence to show that stopping at stop signs or red lights will increase longevity. In fact, some studies have shown that sudden stops can cause more accidents. We feel that driving is a matter of individual decision making, and the government needs to get out of our face when it comes to personal decisions like this. After all what message does it send to a young teenager facing stiff competition in schools, jobs and life to see the word Stop. This is a question of personal values and the right to make decisions ourselves."

Colorado is now planning on issuing new license plates with the motto “I’m nuts, Get outta my way!"