Satirical News Service
Cupertino, CA
Cupertino, CA
Apple Inc. announced
today an even more luxurious edition of their Apple Watch® that tops gold plated
one costing $11,000. This is the Steven Jobs Edition Apple Watch® and is priced
at $50,000. Its target market is the ultra-rich 1%. Instead of showing the
time, it features only a disembodied caricature of Steven Jobs in his classic
black turtleneck shirt with arms moving to show the time. Instead of telling or
showing the actual time, however, at pre-selected times a the watch utters a pre-recorded quote from
Steve Jobs. It will be up to the users to know just what time each quote is
representing. These will be set by the users so that only they will really know what the actual time is. On our test model here is
what we found.
Watch Quotes:
"Creativity is just
connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they
feel a little guilty because they didn't really do it, they just saw something.
It seemed obvious to them after a while." Meant it was 12:15 am
"It's really hard to design
products by focus groups. A lot of times, people don't know what they want
until you show it to them." Meant 2:30 pm
“How does
somebody know what they want if they haven’t even seen it?” Meant 5:25 am.
True devotees to Steven Jobs will appreciate how
this deviates from simply telling or showing you “standard” times. Instead it
is in keeping with Steven Jobs way of doing things “his own way”; something owners of the watch will appreciate.
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