Tradition!

If you saw Fiddler on the Roof, you became aware of just how important traditions are in the Jewish culture. In this respect, Passover has always maintained a link to our Jewish upbringing, even though we have long since stopped practicing most of the other tenents of the Jewish faith.

This year though, things went a little differently.

THE PAPA: ….On this night we dip not once but three times. (Take parsley and pass it around). BAW-RUCH A-TAW….

SON 1:  Excuse me, is this organically grown parsley without any pesticides or non-organic fertilizers?

THE PAPA: Who know’s, just dip it and eat it, how much could one little bite of non-organic parsley harm you.

SON 2:  Is this Salt water? I can’t eat any salt, could I just have some plain Dasani water to dip it in?

THE PAPA: Now we take the bitter herb and say the prayer (takes a piece of horseradish root) BAW-RUCH A-TAW …

SON 1:  I read once that horseradish can cause cancer

SON 2:  No, it prevents cancer

SON 1:  No No! It distinctly causes it due to the uptake of glacinocides that interfere with the free radicals.

SON 2:  No my dumb brother – the exact opposite.

SON 1:  In any case I’m not eating it

SON 2:  Suit yourself, Dad give me the horseradish

THE PAPA: Now we take the horseradish and dip it into the choroset ….

SON 1:  Uh, does that have nuts in it? I no longer can eat nuts since I found out last year that I have a nut allergy.

SON 2:  Does that contain Apples? Apples contain high levels of Arsenic that can cause cancer.

SON 1:  Are they organic Apples?

THE PAPA: …We eat the Matzah in remembrance of the unleavened bread that our forefathers ate when pharaoh chased them in the desert (Takes piece of Matzah) BAW-RUCH A-TAW ….

SON 1:  Excuse me, does that have wheat in it? I can’t eat any wheat.

SON 2:  I can eat some wheat, but does it have gluten? I don’t eat any gluten?

The Momma: We’ll now eat our Traditional Passover dinner, together. Dad cooked it just like he 

always did – Matzah Ball Soup, Roast Lamb, Asparagus, couscous……

SON 1:  Wait mom, did you say Lamb!? I don’t eat any red meat

SON 2:  Is there gluten in the Matzah Balls? The chicken stock – was it made with GMO free hormone free, free range chickens? I can’t eat it if it isn’t.

SON 1:  Does the couscous have any wheat?

THE PAPA: So my fine children. It is time for the Four Questions. This year however, I am going narrow it down to just One! “Why is this night different from all other nights?”

SON 1:  I know – “On this night we dip three times instead of none……”

SON 2:  “We eat only unlevened bread and sit reclined…..”

THE PAPA: No! I’ll tell you why this night is different from all other nights. On all other nights we just eat our Damned meal and don’t nit-pick over every damned thing it has in it. This year we celebrate Passover in our home, but by God next year, we’re going out for Chinese!