Satirical News Service
Washington DC
Washington DC
Donald Trump
today signed an executive order that would move the national seat of government
to Florida – specifically to Mar a Lago. “Everyone in Washington hates me!”
quoted Trump. “They are all out to get me! At least in Florida, I’ll be safe
with my base there.”
The plan calls for Trump’s Mar a Lago resort to be
bought from the Trump Organization at a fixed bid price set by Jared Kushner
who controls the Trump holdings there. “I
plan to build a new White House there – one with a lot more gold fixtures and
large mirrors – and of course the Presidential toilet will be made completely of solid gold. The capitol will
initially house only the Senate until the Democrats are kicked out of the
House. Also, the Supreme Court will have only 5 seats for only the conservative
judges. The others will have to stand. I plan on having large avenues to hold
military parades with a grand viewing stand.”
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell has already
come out in support of it stating, “It will save the taxpayers millions of
dollars since Trump won’t have to travel as far to play golf.”
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