Satirical News Service
Washington, DC
It’s a tearful scene here at Teterboro Airport here in New Jersey as Russian-owned private jets are forced to land by authorities who are enforcing the sanctions against
Russia. It is almost too much to bear as these poor souls deplane, separated from
their mistresses and concubines and forced
to stay in 3 and 4-star hotels – some even without room service.
A group of Republicans, including many big donors
and people in power, are organizing Aide Relief to Oligarchs.
“We want to provide basic humanitarian aid to these
poor displaced souls – basic needs like imported caviar, luxury limousines, and
private jets. “ It’s hardly their fault that those tyrannical NATO states have
taken away their basic necessities – like yachts, luxury apartments, and access
to their billions of ill-gotten dollars. We are organizing convoys of limousines
and people are donating their luxury yachts and jets to aid in their efforts. There is even a group of prostitutes from
Nevada that have offered up their services to help these poor souls through
this time of difficulty. Even Trump has offered to shelter these refugees in
his Trump Tower with differed payments at only 35% per day interest rates.”
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